Combating Worry

If you were to ask me right now what the number one thing I've learned through my eye cancer is I would tell you this...

Be Thankful.

When I'm tempted to worry, which I am a lot of the time, I combat it through thankfulness. This is outlined in Philippians 4.

God's will for me is to....
1. Do not be anxious about anything
2. Through prayer and supplication make my requests known to God
3. Give thanks while I do this

And then the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind.

Sometimes I feel very depressed. I get a heavy feeling, not knowing the future. Especially when I start thinking thoughts about my possible early death and my children being raised without a mother, or even worse, a mother who doesn't love them the way I do. I have a very easy time thinking of the worst-case scenarios.

When I find myself feeling this way and thinking of all the things that might go wrong in my life this is what I do.

1. Quote Philippians 4 in my head.
2. Be thankful!

God doesn't promise that He'll do what we want, but He does promise that He will give us peace.

I don't want cancer. In fact, I pleaded with God that the spot on my eye wouldn't be cancerous. But for the most part, I have had peace throughout this time.

I may not be assured another year of life, but none of us are. What I do have right now is two lovely children asleep in their beds. Maybe I won't be able to see Josiah graduate from college or Aletheia get married. I don't know. But I do have right now.

Right now I can go look at their sleeping forms and chubby cheeks and feel awe that they are mine. I can touch my little girl's curly blonde hair, amazed at how much she looks like me. I can see Josiah, such an easy baby compared to Aletheia, curled up in a ball in his new crib. He can already roll over and scooch around in there so I have to check on him to make sure the blankets are all tucked in around him. He is going to be a strong one like his Daddy!

And right now, I have a sleeping husband in our bed. I am thankful that tonight I can go snuggle up next to him and take up his side.

It's the times when I don't feel like being thankful that I have to choose to live out my faith. I have to choose to obey the Bible and be thankful for what I have right now. And be thankful for what I'll have in the future...an eternity with God.

So to all my fellow chronic worriers out there I say, "Don't let all the possible bad things that may happen to you rob you of being thankful for the precious things you have now." God has given us so much to be thankful for, so let's enjoy each moment He has given us.

Let's live life with an attitude of thankfulness.