A few weeks ago I wasn't really in the Christmas mood. I didn't want to think too far ahead because I didn't know if it was going to be my last Christmas and I just couldn't muster up much Christmas spirit. I didn't want to think about the unknown future.
Fast forward laser treatment, more than a week of migraines, a MRI, x-ray, blood work, waiting for results....and I got all good news so far.
But I still couldn't seem to get in the Christmas mood. No matter how many Pandora Christmas stations I listened to or how many Christmas events I attended. Nothing seemed to work. This bothered me a little because Christmas is a big deal in my family. As a pianist, I grew up playing/listening to music right after labor day. But I just didn't feel like listening to it.
We traveled to Nathan's house to spend Christmas with his family. I still didn't really feel very Christmasy.....and the fact that the cat sprayed all the presents I had so carefully wrapped didn't really help any. :)
But today I am in the Christmas mood. Maybe not the traditional one, but I think it is how we all should be on Christmas....
Thankful.
Thankful that, even though Jesus wasn't born in the bleak midwinter, He did come to earth to save us from our sins and make a relationship with Him possible.
Thankful for a husband who loves the Lord.
Thankful for the two children God has blessed us with.
Thankful for supportive family.
Thankful for a loving church family.
Thankful for the body of Christ.
Thankful for each day God gives me on this earth.
On Thanksgiving my head hurt so bad that I couldn't really "celebrate." I just felt like laying in bed (ok...I did do that most of the day).
So I think today is my Thanksgiving.
We didn't give tons of presents but we were all together. The Shaulis family almost lost two members this year: Nathan with the chainsaw accident and Meghan with a car accident. But God spared them. And I got good news that the cancer hasn't spread. That's a lot to be thankful for right there. And that's what I think Christmas is all about.
It's about being thankful for what God has given us.
Family
Life
Jesus
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Thanksgiving
In the two weeks since I last posted so much has happened and we are so grateful.
I went in for my MRI and found that I could easily be claustrophobic if I thought about it. Thankfully, God helped me through the process and I made it through without freaking out. Right in the beginning, when I was really nervous about the MRI, a song came on that made me cry. It was obviously a hug from God. A good reminder for me to trust Him. I couldn't help but to thank Him in the MRI machine for that little way of showing me His care. Here is an excerpt from the song...
Then I had the chest-Xray. That day was very nerve-wracking because the MRI technician told us if there was something wrong we would most likely hear later that day.
That evening was Aletheia's birthday, so we celebrated and tried to just keep our minds off what might happen. She turned two, opened her presents, and had some "happy birthday cakes" (cupcakes).
The next morning Nathan and I headed out for Wills Eye Hospital in Philadelphia. We didn't have to wait long at all and the doctor said procedure went very well. They just zapped the cancer cells for 86 seconds and that was it. We will go back in March to see if the cancer has started dying. Sometimes it takes several laser treatments, and sometimes it responds in one. Sometimes it doesn't work at all. Please pray with us that the cancer will start dying and that the treatment would be a success.
After the appointment, Nathan and I went to The Cheesecake Factory, where we went on our first real date. It was a sweet moment just to be able to talk and know that all the treatment was done and all our appointments were over until March. I think we both felt very emotionally exhausted after the events of the past several weeks.
On Monday I got a call from the oncologist with official word that all my tests looked good. No cancer has spread that he can see. We praise God for this. I know that He didn't have to choose to extend my life. I could have had a body riddled with cancer and only a few months left to live. But He has seen fit to let me stay with my husband and children at least a little longer, and I am SO thankful! That is what we praised God for this Thanksgiving. We can certainly see His goodness and grace through this hard time.
The doctor's hadn't anticipated that I'd have any pain after the laser treatment, but I did have some pretty extreme pain all Thanksgiving week. I couldn't take any meds they'd usually give since I'm breastfeeding, so I took lots of Ibuprofen and Tylenol. On Wednesday before thanksgiving, after talking to the eye specialists, they sent me to a local Optometrist to make sure nothing was really wrong. They found that my eye was really inflamed and that my retina had partially detached. The Wills people said that this was probably be a result of the laser treatment, but should go away. They also said that my extreme pain could be a direct result of the cancer cells dying, so we are hoping that this is a sign the treatment is working!
I tried to just be thankful that the pain meant the cancer was probably dying, but the Friday after thanksgiving was when the pain was the worst. I couldn't sleep the entire night. At about 4 or 5 in the morning Mom was with me as I was feeding Josiah, and she prayed that I would get some sleep and that my pain would go away. Not an hour later the pain started going away and it has been getting better ever since. I don't know if God chose to answer her prayer right then, but I tease Mom that she has the gift of healing. :)
My vision has been affected, but I can still see petty well out of my eye. There are some shadows and just a little pain and weirdness in general. I'm not sure how that will change as things go on, but I'm thankful I can still see out of the eye.
I meant to post on Thanksgiving some of the things we are thankful, but I didn't feel up to posting there for a while. So....I'll do it now.
1. We are thankful that God directly answered prayer in that the cancer didn't spread
2. We are thankful that we have a relationship with God. I'm not sure how people who are not saved go through something like this.
3. We are thankful that the treatment seemed to go well.
4. We are thankful for our church family's fervent prayers for us, and for everyone else who encouraged us and prayed for us. The body of Christ truly has been one of the greatest encouragements of this entire time.
5. We are thankful for my Mom. She has helped me so much through this time. She really has been a servant....showing her love to us by doing laundry and cooking and helping with the kids. I don't know what I would have done without her help. Also a shout out to my little sister, Anna who also has been a big help, and to my Dad for parting with Mom for that long. :)
6. We are thankful for Josiah. A healthy baby boy who has helped brighten up this time.
7. We are thankful for Aletheia who has done so well through all of this transition.
I could go on and on, but these are some of the biggest things we are thankful for.
We would still appreciate prayer for....
1. Physical health for me. I have a few other minor health things going just as a result of having a baby, so please pray that my overall health will improve. Plus, Mom is leaving in a few days so running the house will be all up to me!
2. That the treatment will cure the cancer.
3. That we would continue to trust God.
I went in for my MRI and found that I could easily be claustrophobic if I thought about it. Thankfully, God helped me through the process and I made it through without freaking out. Right in the beginning, when I was really nervous about the MRI, a song came on that made me cry. It was obviously a hug from God. A good reminder for me to trust Him. I couldn't help but to thank Him in the MRI machine for that little way of showing me His care. Here is an excerpt from the song...
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there's a God who loves you
Where is He now?
Well maybe there are things you can't see,
And all these things are happening,
To bring a better ending.
Someday, somehow you'll see.
Would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing?
Cause the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming.
Once you feel the weight of glory,
All your pain will fade to memory.
Press on and fight the good fight,
Cause the pain that you've been feeling,
Is just the hurt before the healing,
Cause the pain that you've been feeling,
Is just the dark before the morning.
Then I had the chest-Xray. That day was very nerve-wracking because the MRI technician told us if there was something wrong we would most likely hear later that day.
That evening was Aletheia's birthday, so we celebrated and tried to just keep our minds off what might happen. She turned two, opened her presents, and had some "happy birthday cakes" (cupcakes).
The next morning Nathan and I headed out for Wills Eye Hospital in Philadelphia. We didn't have to wait long at all and the doctor said procedure went very well. They just zapped the cancer cells for 86 seconds and that was it. We will go back in March to see if the cancer has started dying. Sometimes it takes several laser treatments, and sometimes it responds in one. Sometimes it doesn't work at all. Please pray with us that the cancer will start dying and that the treatment would be a success.
After the appointment, Nathan and I went to The Cheesecake Factory, where we went on our first real date. It was a sweet moment just to be able to talk and know that all the treatment was done and all our appointments were over until March. I think we both felt very emotionally exhausted after the events of the past several weeks.
On Monday I got a call from the oncologist with official word that all my tests looked good. No cancer has spread that he can see. We praise God for this. I know that He didn't have to choose to extend my life. I could have had a body riddled with cancer and only a few months left to live. But He has seen fit to let me stay with my husband and children at least a little longer, and I am SO thankful! That is what we praised God for this Thanksgiving. We can certainly see His goodness and grace through this hard time.
The doctor's hadn't anticipated that I'd have any pain after the laser treatment, but I did have some pretty extreme pain all Thanksgiving week. I couldn't take any meds they'd usually give since I'm breastfeeding, so I took lots of Ibuprofen and Tylenol. On Wednesday before thanksgiving, after talking to the eye specialists, they sent me to a local Optometrist to make sure nothing was really wrong. They found that my eye was really inflamed and that my retina had partially detached. The Wills people said that this was probably be a result of the laser treatment, but should go away. They also said that my extreme pain could be a direct result of the cancer cells dying, so we are hoping that this is a sign the treatment is working!
I tried to just be thankful that the pain meant the cancer was probably dying, but the Friday after thanksgiving was when the pain was the worst. I couldn't sleep the entire night. At about 4 or 5 in the morning Mom was with me as I was feeding Josiah, and she prayed that I would get some sleep and that my pain would go away. Not an hour later the pain started going away and it has been getting better ever since. I don't know if God chose to answer her prayer right then, but I tease Mom that she has the gift of healing. :)
My vision has been affected, but I can still see petty well out of my eye. There are some shadows and just a little pain and weirdness in general. I'm not sure how that will change as things go on, but I'm thankful I can still see out of the eye.
I meant to post on Thanksgiving some of the things we are thankful, but I didn't feel up to posting there for a while. So....I'll do it now.
1. We are thankful that God directly answered prayer in that the cancer didn't spread
2. We are thankful that we have a relationship with God. I'm not sure how people who are not saved go through something like this.
3. We are thankful that the treatment seemed to go well.
4. We are thankful for our church family's fervent prayers for us, and for everyone else who encouraged us and prayed for us. The body of Christ truly has been one of the greatest encouragements of this entire time.
5. We are thankful for my Mom. She has helped me so much through this time. She really has been a servant....showing her love to us by doing laundry and cooking and helping with the kids. I don't know what I would have done without her help. Also a shout out to my little sister, Anna who also has been a big help, and to my Dad for parting with Mom for that long. :)
6. We are thankful for Josiah. A healthy baby boy who has helped brighten up this time.
7. We are thankful for Aletheia who has done so well through all of this transition.
I could go on and on, but these are some of the biggest things we are thankful for.
We would still appreciate prayer for....
1. Physical health for me. I have a few other minor health things going just as a result of having a baby, so please pray that my overall health will improve. Plus, Mom is leaving in a few days so running the house will be all up to me!
2. That the treatment will cure the cancer.
3. That we would continue to trust God.
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